life.

there are some times in my life where everything seems to be going my way. and others when i feel like i am falling apart. a time when nothing appears as it is and all i want to do is throw something as hard as i can against the wall. well life never asked me what i wanted so its these times that i must understand and learn to cope with what i have been given. and i hope through each of these challenges i grow to be stronger and discover the things that i possess to make it through.

uninhibited faith.

Tonight I went to dinner with several girls whom I love so much. And as we sat there closing the end of the semester together our conversation turned to that of missions and our outlooks on serving Jesus. We all hope of great opportunities for missions next summer and as we talked about the places we would go the issue of danger and faith came up...

Would we have enough faith in Jesus to stand firm when asked to denounce Him? We all had our thoughts. We could not fathom the stories of those commanded to denounce Him when their life or the lives of those they loved were at stake...and how they simply did not. They stood strong and we could not even imagine having an ounce of that faith. We were brought to tears as we told how we wanted to believe we could do that for Jesus, but we feared if we could. Why is it so hard to share everything we have inside us here, in this time and place, with nothing at risk? How do you gain and possess pure, uninhibited faith?

worship.

I looked up the definition of worship and I could not find one that I liked. None of what was said to be worship did any justice to the word and in that case the act. Have you ever commited yourself to total worship? Do you even know what total worship means? I didn't until this past Sunday. Standing in that gymnasium singing to God, it did not hit me until the hymn "Victory in Jesus" began to be sung. It hit me like a wave. So hard, so overwhelming, so strong. It cannot be avoided. Tears began to stream down my face as I sang those words,

"Oh Victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever,
He sought me and He bought me,
With His redeeming blood,
He loved me e're I knew Him,
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood."

I realized that in my "worship," I had never stopped to fully comprehend the words which ultimately conveyed the absolute epicness of God. He is so worthy of our worship, yet He doesn't need it to make Him who He is. It was in this moment that I truly began to understand the concept of worship. It's not just a word, a thought, or even an act. It's a lifestyle. An understanding of who God is.

50 favorite things

1. sleeping in.
2. finding that book you can't put down.
3. wearing sweatpants when its raining out.
4. that no make-up feeling
5. new haircut.
6. a back rub.
7. sitting outside when it is sunny.
8. using a new handbag.
9. that feeling you get right after you exercise.
10. putting on an outfit that makes you feel good.
11. rainboots
12. taking pictures.
13. christmas morning
14. going to minnesota
15. playing with Olivia
16. getting flowers
17. getting flowers that are Gerber Daisies
18. manicures
19. finishing my work.
20. the craft section at wal-mart.
21. mexican food.
22. receiving mail. (a great feeling!)
23. getting paid.
24. buying a new swimsuit.
25. getting tan...or "sunkissed"
26. girly movies
27. hannah montana
28. my roomie
29. watching the stars on the parkway
30. sparklers
31. sweettart easter ducks and bunnies
32. a full tank of gas.
33. getting my new vogue
34. being organized
35. surprising people
36. new flats or sandals
37. making new friends
38. finding jewlery you forgot you had
39. going on random adventures.
40. waterfalls
41. planning unlikely trips
42. disney princesses
43. my boyfriend
44. phone conversations with my family.
45. IM- good for quick conversations...or distracted long ones.
46. my ipod
47. quarters
48. washing my clothes
49. jaccuzi time
50. growing in my relationship with Jesus.

scattered.

My thoughts are so scattered right now that I might go off in several directions so bare with me. It has been a busy, but satisfying last few weeks and I apologize for not blogging on a regular basis. That is kind of difficult when you are busy with classes and with my photography class I have been spending a great deal of time in the dark room. Photography has been such a great experience and I am really falling in love with doing it. When I finish developing my own film, printing my pictures, and mounting them, there is just a sense of accomplishment. My classes have been going well and I am looking forward to having a great GPA. (hopefully)!

Last weekend, I had the chance to go on a winter retreat with my church here in Boone and it was a really good time. I am glad I went and I got the chance to get closer to a lot of the people in our college class. I am also enjoying my bible study of Daniel and have gotten to know the other girls really well. In April, my building is having a "phenomenal women" weekend where mothers, sisters, aunts, friends, roommates of a resident will come for the weekend where we will have games, food, and fun. I was in charge of getting a speaker for the weekend and I was blessed to contact Margaret Moore, Jerry Moore's wife, and she so sweetly agreed to come and share. I am looking forward to hearing her!

This morning, I have had such a great lazy type of day. I layed around, then went to the bank and then stopped by Old Navy since it is the only store we have here in Boone. I found a sweater that is officially my new favorite and I only paid 10 dollars for it. What a steal. I also looked through the baby section because I have become obsessed with buying the girl some clothes. And guess what they have...baby jellies. They are precious and whenever I get paid/they go on sale I will buy her some. I also found out last night that the girl is pulling herself up to a standing position and giving kisses. It is so special to watch her grow and I have to watch carefully because it is happening so fast.

I forgot to tell all about Valentine's day. It was a great day despite the 5 classes that I had to attend plus some dark room time. Richard and I went to his house where, Richard, his dad and his brother made a wonderful dinner. steak, mashed potatos, peas, salad, garlic bread. so yummy. Richard absolutely loved his scrapbook and he bought me some excellent things for my ipod that I really needed as well as a rose and a disney princess card. how sweet!

incomprehensible.

Two weeks ago I joined a Bible study through my church here in Boone. We are doing the Beth Moore study on Daniel. Not only has the study been amazing, but being with the ten other girls has been so rewarding and relaxing. I look forward to 6:30 every Monday when April picks me up and for the 10 minute drive we have a chance to talk. This study has been so helpful in understanding not only the book of Daniel, but the history behind it. Through this and my New Testament Literature class, I am learning more and more than I thought I ever could. It is really amazing.



This semester has been the calmest one I have had to date. I can honestly say it has been the best. Everything from classes, to workload, to church involvment, to the friends I hang out with has been so great. I have had a chance to get more involved through and with my church and I am looking forward to our winter retreat next weekend. I have found some of the best friends I have ever known and I value every second we get to see each other, whether we are sitting in the box on duty or playing catch phrase or even learning the soulja boy dance and practicing all night. I have grown even closer to Richard, which is ironic because we see each other less, but it makes me love the time we do get to see each other.



On to other news, ASU's campus has seen the Flu run rampant and there are even rumors of closing down for a while if it continues like it is. I am hoping since I was already sick and went through two cycles of antiobiotics, that I will be immune. Mr. Campbell gave Richard and I each a bottle of antibacterial hand sanitizer to help ensure that we stay healthy. I hope it works!



I know this is getting long and jumping all around, but I wanted to mention how excited I am about visiting Sheila, Andrew, and Olivia this weekend. I love the time i get to see them and I am going to make the most of it since it isn't very often that I get to love on them.

fun in february...

I had a really great weekend hanging out with my roomie. We did all the fun girl stuff: eating, shopping, reading magazines, shopping, oh and shopping. She is pretty much amazing and besides the fact that she is creepy, i love her to death. (disclaimer: she really isn't creepy at all) We even made our room beyond cool when we made a shrine to Hannah Montana. Don't ask me how we fell in love with her...it was somewhere between catch phrase music edition and raquetball.

taylor and i decked out for raquetball.

The other love I have right now is for that super cool guy named Richard Campbell. In fact, I kinda have a big thing for him. We haven't gotten to see each other much lately, but thats ok because we are still having fun. He has been extremely involved on the ski team and I am so proud of him. It makes me happy to know he is doing what he loves. Well, while he has been gone I have had a chance to work on a scrapbook I am putting together for him, and it looks amazing if I do say so myself...plus my rooms said so too so it had been confirmed by an outside source. I'm looking forward to seeing how this semester goes because so far it has been the best.

richard and i looking pretty cute.